45 Zach Galifianakis funny lines as Alan from The Hangover Movie

Few characters shine as brightly as Zach Galifianakis’ portrayal of Alan Garner in The Hangover. His quirky, eccentric, and downright hilarious lines have etched themselves into the annals of cinema history. In this article, we’ll delve into Alan’s most outrageous and side-splitting quotes from the original Hangover movie, dissecting their humor and exploring the scenes they adorn.

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Alan’s Iconic Lines

Let’s kick things off with a trip down memory lane, revisiting some of the most iconic lines delivered by Alan in The Hangover.

“You probably get this a lot. This isn’t the real Caesar’s Palace, is it?”
“You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack…”
“Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It’s not gambling when you know you’re gonna win…”
“What about the tiger? What if he got out?”
“I’m on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities! Please! This isn’t your fault. I’ll get you some pants.”
“I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese.”
“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”
“Don’t touch it. Don’t even look at it. Go on, get out. You heard me. Don’t look at me, either… I’ll hit an old man in public.”
“Pants at a time like this? I don’t have any…”
“Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.”
“The Doug we’re looking for is a white.”
“But you don’t know for sure? I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Halley’s comet.”
“It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
“I want you to know, Doug, I’m a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it. Seriously, I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if we kill someone. You heard me. It’s Sin City. I won’t tell a soul.”
“How’s my hair?”
“I think the cop car part’s pretty cool.”
“And we’re the three best friends that anyone could have!”
“Hey, you guys ready to let the dogs out?”
“Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.”
“Hey, there’s skittles in there!”
“Oh you know what, next week’s no good for me, the Jonas brothers are in town.”
“Okay, well, maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupt a casino.”
“I’ve found a baby before.”
“Drunk driving. Classic.”
“Yeah, I checked all the rooms… no one’s there. Check its collar or something.”
“Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, bin Laden.”
“No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.”
“Uh, if we’re sharing beds, I’m bunking with Phil. You cool with that?”
“Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in.”
“I don’t think you should curse around the baby.”
“It says here we should work in teams. Who’ll be my spotter?”
“When Stu is finally at his wit’s end, he tells Alan, ‘You are literally too stupid to insult.’ Alan, being Alan, sees that as a compliment, and thanks him for it.”
“I look like a nerdy hillbilly! It’s not a good look!”
“Phil, you gotta come look at this! There’s a mattress in the pool!”
“Did Caesar live here?”
“You wanna know why I carry a man purse? Because it’s got a lot of room for my stuff!”
“Phil’s a married dentist with a bad hip, and Stu’s a psychiatrist, and he’s got a wife who doesn’t love him.”
“I got a real problem, guys. I blew it, alright? I owe some guy named Chow 80 grand.”
“I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese.”
“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”
“I can’t believe my daddy let you babysit me.”
“Is this the real Caesar’s Palace? Did Caesar live here?”
“I’m what you call a ‘prostitute’!”
“My name’s Alan and I bought an adorable giraffe!”
“Thank you for coming to my wedding. But thank you for being too late!”

Exploring Alan’s Character

Alan Garner isn’t just a collection of quirky one-liners; he’s a multifaceted character whose eccentricities add depth and hilarity to the film’s narrative.

The Eccentric Oddball

Alan’s eccentricities know no bounds, from his affinity for wolf packs to his unorthodox views on gambling. His idiosyncratic behavior serves as a constant source of amusement for both his companions and the audience.

Unintentional Insensitivity

While Alan’s intentions are usually benign, he occasionally stumbles into moments of unintentional insensitivity, such as his remark about the Holocaust ring. These instances highlight his social ineptitude and add a layer of cringe-worthy humor to the film.

Childlike Wonder

Beneath Alan’s eccentric exterior lies a childlike innocence and wonder, as evidenced by his fascination with Halley’s Comet and his unwavering devotion to his satchel. These quirks humanize his character and endear him to viewers despite his outlandish behavior.

Alan’s Impact on The Hangover

Alan Garner isn’t just a side character in The Hangover; he’s an integral part of what makes the film so memorable and beloved by audiences worldwide.

Comic Relief Extraordinaire

In a movie filled with outrageous antics and unexpected twists, Alan serves as the primary source of comic relief, delivering laugh-out-loud moments that elevate the film from a standard buddy comedy to a timeless classic.

Catalyst for Chaos

Alan’s well-meaning yet mischievous nature often propels the plot forward, leading the group into increasingly absurd and precarious situations. Whether it’s smuggling a tiger into their hotel room or accidentally drugging their friend, Alan’s antics keep viewers on the edge of their seats.

Heartwarming Moments

Beneath his eccentricities, Alan possesses a genuine warmth and loyalty that shines through in moments of vulnerability and camaraderie. His unwavering dedication to his friends, despite his oddities, serves as a touching reminder of the power of friendship amidst chaos.

Conclusion: Alan’s Legacy Lives On

As we bid farewell to Alan Garner and his unforgettable one-liners, it’s clear that his impact on The Hangover extends far beyond mere comedic relief. From his eccentric quirks to his heartwarming moments of loyalty, Alan remains a beloved and iconic character in cinematic history, ensuring that his legacy will live on for years to come. So here’s to Alan, the lovable oddball whose antics continue to bring joy and laughter to audiences around the world.