Bad Boys 3 Announced By Martin Lawrence

Sir Martin Lawrence appeared on the Conan television talk show. His intentions were to promote discussion and celebration of his new FX series Partners. Mr. Lawrence was plenty excited about the team-up with Kelsey Grammer. But he was, perhaps,more excited about a new project. A project that will reshape the cinematic world as we know it.

Though the show has only just aired, we have heard that Martin Lawrence has announced another collaboration with Michael Bay. Once again, the actor will be playing Detective Marcus Burnett. Shit just got real: there’s going to be a Bad Boys 3.

Lawrence says that he has been talking with producer Jerry Bruckheimer, and that a screenplay for Bad Boys 3 is being actively developed. The script would “potentially re-team him” with co-star Will Smith. But, really,how can you have Marcus without Mike Lowry?And going a step beyond that, how can you have Smith and Lawrence without Michael Bay? Smith is going to spend his fall making an untitled NFL concussion drama for director Peter Landesman. Michael Bay will wipe the stink of Transformers off him with a documentary about wildlife poaching. Martin Lawrence will, in all likelihood, depressingly shoot ninety more episodes of Partners.

After all that, could Michael Bay return to continue the epic tale of Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett? Criticize Mr. Bay for his flashy style, and his celebration of excess, cruelty and capitalism, but it is an undeniable fact that he was put on this Earth to make Bad Boys movies. Bad Boys was his first movie, and its a pretty sedate affair; a movie that was once meant to star Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz, and had likely been worked around a bit by producers and script doctors.

Bad Boys 2, however, is the Michael Bay movie they’ll play in Heaven for all his fans, and in Hell for all his detractors. Bearing very little resemblance to the first film, it is a celebration of sociopathic excellence, one of the most viscerally violent movies ever made for a major studio, both aesthetically and morally. It is a monument of towering action gratuitousness, and now Bay is returning to that sandbox after the four films in the planet-destroying Transformers films, and also the uniquely misanthropic Pain And Gain. Michael Bay’s art is Bad Boys and he’s hopefully about to paint his masterpiece.

David Guggenheim (Safe House) is just the latest screenwriter hired by Sony to script Bad Boys 3. Knowing Bay, he will read this script, keep three pages of it, throw the rest in the garbage and announce to the crew, “Okay guys, today we’re going to violently throw cars.” Every day. Bad Boys 3 is coming. Michael Bay will fulfill his promise. An angel will get its wings, and fly to the heavens while playing the riff from Hot For Teacher on repeat. Life is beautiful.

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