How to Deal with Crushes while in a Relationship

How do you handle a crush when you’re in a relationship?

Table of Contents

Most people believe that you shouldn’t be attracted to others if you’re in a healthy, satisfying relationship. This is often a hot topic in most conversations, and no one seems to agree on anything. But how true is this sentiment?

However, most relationship experts consider it a natural and inevitable occurrence. Once in a while, you will be attracted to other people who are not your partner.

Even those in committed, long-term relationships will be attracted to others.

Is It Wrong?

This might be a confusing emotion, and most people are often blindsided. Most people feel guilty, and they’ll beat themselves up for it. What happens when you’re attracted to your co-worker? Should you quit your job?

However, you should not beat yourself up for normal biological function. In most cases, your attractions are involuntary, and they don’t care if you are in a committed relationship. Your brain makes automatic decisions about attractiveness based on the visual information our eyes feed it.

As such, it’s not your fault you find other people appealing. What you do with these feelings is what really matters, and it determines what kind of partner you are.

Just because you or your partner is attracted to other people does not mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. It’s not a warning sign for infidelity, either.

Dealing with Attractions

What happens if you are interested in other people? Does it mean your relationship lacks in any way? Here are several ways you could deal with these unprecedented feelings.

Talk to Your Partner

Have an honest conversation with your partner and tell them about your crush. Talking about it takes power away from it, so it no longer feels like a threat. Being attracted to people is natural, but you don’t have to hide it from your partner. Any feelings that ensue from such a conversation can be dealt with through reassurance.

However, it’s not compulsory to do it, especially if you always have crushes on people. Just let them pass on their own.

Don’t Nurture them

Sometimes, your attractions can turn into a crush. They are not often, especially to those in happy and committed relationships. While these feelings might confuse you, it’s best to not act on them in any way. Let them pass, and you’ll forget them in no time.

In most cases, nurturing your crushes might make you question your existing relationship.

Some people don’t mind flirting with their crushes. However, others advise on remaining honest, as long as it doesn’t get intense or sexual. Nevertheless, stay cautious, and remember that things can escalate very quickly. In addition, put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Would you be happy if you found flirty texts on their phone?

Don’t Fantasize

Fantasizing about your crush only feeds the flames and gives it the energy to grow. Even if you’re in an open relationship, you can’t afford to act on every crush and attraction. Also, avoid playing scenarios in your head, even if they are not sexual.

Put in Some Distance

While this is not a fun thing to do, it helps you to keep your feelings in check. It’s true that you cannot ignore your feelings, but you can ignore whomever you have feelings for. Nothing good ever comes out of keeping your crush around.

Unless you’re willing to give up your current relationship (which means it’s more than a crush), keep distance between the two of you. This space allows you to evaluate your compatibility from an objective point of view.

The avoidance technique takes away the opportunity to cheat. Even though you might consider yourself a faithful partner, it’s hard to tell what can happen when it’s just the both of you.

When Does Attraction Cross the Line?

Sometimes, these feelings could be a potential red flag in your relationship. How can you tell when you’re stepping over the line?

You focus on your fantasies to avoid dealing with your relationship issues. If you’re feeling unloved, you might be focusing on your crush, trying to fill that void.

You’re thinking about acting on your crush. Unless you’re in a polyamorous relationship, thoughts about getting intimate with other people is a red flag. If you’re having problems with your poly relationship, hop on to Taimi app blogs for some guidance.

Are you micro-cheating? Are you hiding your interactions with your crush and sexting? If you are, then maybe you should reconsider your feelings.

Are you emotionally cheating? While you might abstain from getting physical, you can also cheat by making deep connections with someone other than your partner. This also includes venting about your partner or relationship issues to your crush.

Conclusion

Feelings cannot always be in black and white. So, it’s crucial to be keen on the type of relationships we forge with others and how they affect us and those we love. Learn to understand your feelings so that no harmless behavior can turn harmful later.