What are the 4 types of parenting styles?

The four main parenting styles used in child psychology today are permissive, authoritative, neglectful and authoritarian.

Your parenting style can influence everything from your child’s weight to her self-esteem.
It is critical to ensure that your parenting style promotes healthy growth and development because how you interact with your child and discipline her will have an impact on her for the rest of her life.

Four types of parenting styles have been identified by researchers.

• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive
• Uninvolved

Authoritarian Parenting

Do any of these statements sound like you?

• You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
• When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
• You don’t take your child’s feelings into consideration.

If any of those ring true, you might be an authoritarian parent. Authoritarian parents believe kids should follow the rules without exception.

Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, “Because I said so,” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience.

They also don’t allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child’s opinion. 

Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather than teach a child how to make better choices, they’re invested in making kids feel sorry for their mistakes.

Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.

Permissive Parenting

Do any of these statements sound like you?

• You set rules but rarely enforce them.
• You don’t give out consequences very often.
• You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.

If those statements sound familiar, you might be a permissive parent. Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there’s a serious problem.

They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.” When they do use consequences, they may not make those consequences stick. They might give privileges back if a child begs or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if he promises to be good. 

Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don’t put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. 

Uninvolved Parenting

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

• You don’t ask your child about school or homework.
• You rarely know where your child is or who she is with.
• You don’t spend much time with your child.

If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved parent. Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There tend to be few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.

Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy into meeting children’s basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis. 

What makes a good parent?

Being a good parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent is the golden rule to good discipline. Be kind and firm when you set rules and enforce them. Focus on the reason behind the child’s misbehavior.

Sometimes parents don’t fit into just one category, so don’t despair if there are times or areas where you tend to be permissive and other times when you’re more authoritative. It is hard to remain consistent when balancing life and parenting. Don’t engage in parent guilt or shame. That’s not helpful.

The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. But even if you tend to identify with other parenting styles more, there are steps you can take to become a more authoritative parent. 

With dedication and commitment to being the best parent you can be, you can maintain a positive relationship with your child while still establishing your authority in a healthy manner. And over time, your child will reap the benefits of your authoritative style.